Oh, Thanksgiving, how I love you. I love everything about you. What other holiday allows you to just sit around doing nothing but eating, drinking, and watching football with family and friends? There are no presents to buy or resolutions to be made, and no religion, too. (John Lennon would be proud.) Nothing but food and fullness.
Plus, unlike other holidays, not much creativity is needed for the Thanksgiving menu; it’s mostly just handed to you on a silver platter: Turkey? Check. Cranberries? Check. Potatoes? Check. ALL the pies? Check. See? Easy.
Sure you need to dig out your last year’s stretchy “turkey” pants, so you can shove as much food into your belly as humanly possible without sporting the type of muffin top that no one finds appealing. But that’s nothing compared to having to plan meals for Chanukah, Christmas, or New Year’s.
My relationship with holiday meal planning for those other holidays goes something like this:
It’s not so much the cooking I dislike—it’s the planning of these menus that always does me in. There are too many options that all look so yummy and impressive that I end up overwhelmed and unable to choose. Not to mention the calorie count for just about anything I want to make looks more like Oprah’s annual salary than it does a nutrition calculation. This is always a struggle for me because I’m very health-conscious and have been trying my best for years to be as organic as possible.
I follow author Michael Pollen’s Food Rules list when it comes to my regular shopping. But, over the holidays, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is impossible. Even so, I really DO need some guidance, and I can’t be the only one, so I decided to adapt Mr. Pollen’s rules and created my own holiday version for myself and anyone else who needs it. (Apologies to Mr. Pollen.)
| Rule # | Michael’s Rule | My Holiday Rule |
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1 |
Eat mostly plants, especially leaves. | Fry green plants in lard and serve topped with bacon. Done. |
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2 |
Eat animals that have themselves eaten well. | If feeding more than 5 people, decide that all animals on sale of COURSE ate well and were so happy they wanted to spread the love. |
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3 |
Eat your colors. The colors of many vegetables reflect the different antioxidant phytochemicals they contain. | Food coloring counts. |
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4 |
Eat all the junk food you want as long as you cook it yourself. | Substitute cook with buy and you’re golden. |
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5
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The whiter the bread, the sooner you’ll be dead. | The richer the cake, the more you should take. |
So, shut down your Pinterest app, and ignore Martha Stewart and epicurious at all costs. Cook as much as you like, buy everything else, and try to enjoy your holidays, especially Thanksgiving in all its less stressful glory. Remember to be grateful for your friends and family. They will be really grateful that you hosted instead of them.
Buddy says
May 4, 2016 at 2:01 pmThat kind of thniikng shows you’re on top of your game